


I love you, and I don't want to

by PassThe_Mayo



Series: Prinxiety Angst [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 21:10:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19980556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PassThe_Mayo/pseuds/PassThe_Mayo
Summary: I'm sorry for making you all cry, I'm just sad so I make stuff sad. This one had me nearly sobbing.The song is I Love You by Billie Eilish





	I love you, and I don't want to

_ It's not true  _

I watched him smile and laugh. Such a rare thing on such a pretty face.

_ Tell me I've been lied to  _

He was happy and that's all that mattered. He deserves to be happy, after all.

_ Crying isn't like you, ooh  _

He came to me today, crying. He didn't go to Patton or Logan, he went to me. I realized I might have some feelings for him.

_ What the hell did I do?  _

He ignored me all day. Not a single word my way. What did I do now? I haven't been calling him names anymore and I've been relatively nice to him.

_ Never been the type to, Let someone see right through, ooh  _

It's been a few days since he started ignoring me. I'm starting to see why, though. His wall is falling and I can see it. He's trying to build it back up before I notice.

_ Baby won't you take it back _

I called him cute today and he blushed and ran off. He hasn't talked to me in three hours now and has been in his room. I hope he's okay.

_ Say you were tryna make me laugh _

I played a tiny prank on him today and he wasn't too happy. I put a colorful eyeshadow palette in his drawer instead of his usual black. I just wanted him to smile more because his smile is beautiful.

_ And nothing has to change today _

I took him to the imagination where my castle is. I wanted him to meet some of my friends there and he was okay with the trip. I can tell he's noticing the changes I've been making everywhere but today I just relaxed and let him do what he wanted. I know how he can react to sudden changes so I'm trying to go subtle.

_ You didn't mean to say "I love you" _

"I love you, Princey, you're so funny!" He said excitedly after one of my jokes. Realization hit him hard, though as he realized what he said. He then acted like it didn't happen. I wish I could tell him how I really feel.

_ I love you and I don't want to _

I realized a little too late that I'm in love with him. He's with Deceit now and I can tell he's happy. He deserves happiness and I can't give him that, I guess.

_ Ooh _

_ Up all night on another red eye _

I stayed up all night again trying to make new ideas. Without him, though, I didn't have inspiration.

_ I wish we never learned to fly _

He hasn't talked to me in a few months now. He hasn't seen anyone in a while, either. I don't think he's happy anymore.

_ I _

He came to me today, again. It's been almost a year since I last saw his beautiful face. But his beautiful face was bruised and bloody. He stayed with me all night.

_ Maybe we should just try _

It's been a few months since we found out why he was missing. Deceit is banned from our area forever. I took him to the imagination again to show him the castle. He said it looked so much more different but in a good way.

_ To tell ourselves a good lie _

I keep telling myself that I have gotten over him but I know I'm lying. If anything I fell more in love with him.

_ I didn't mean to make you cry _

I made him cry today but I hadn't meant to. I was just showing him the imagination and I guess there was something that reminded him of Deceit and he won't tell me what it is so that I can fix it.

_ I _

He told me it was the white snake hanging in the tree that made him cry yesterday. I made sure he would never see any snakes again. 

_ Baby won't you take it back _

I think I'm gonna tell him soon. It's been a little over a year. I can always wait for him if he needs it, though.

_ Say you were tryna make me laugh _

I've started leaving tiny gifts for him everywhere. I know for a fact he's kept all of them because he won't let me into his room anymore.

_ And nothing has to change today _

Today he told me that he wants to go on a picnic sometime. He said he misses our lunches together at the lake.

_ You didn't mean to say "I love you" _

In three days we're going on a picnic and I'm going to tell him the truth. I'll use a small gesture like I've been doing so I don't scare him.

_ I love you and I don't want to _

I finally told him the truth. I gave him a black rose with red glitter decorating the top.

_ Ooh _

_ The smile that you gave me _

He was crying now but he was also smiling. "You really love me?" He asked softly. I nodded happily and wiped away his tears.

_ Even when you felt like dying _

We've been together for almost a year now. Patton and Logan approved of us, not that we needed it.

_ We fall apart as it gets dark _

He came home late last night, crying. The worst news had unfolded and we held each other, crying that night.

_ I'm in your arms in Central Park _

Today we were out in the real world in a park, sitting on a bench and watching kids play. "I'll miss being here with you," he said, scooting closer. I nodded and kissed his forehead. My beautiful angel.

_ There's nothing you could do or say _

I took him on a walk today around the imagination. Soon I won't be able to and that hurt. I won't be able to have him in my castle anymore.

_ I can't escape the way, I love you _

He looked so horrible right now, laying in bed and unable to move a whole lot. I told him I loved him and all the reasons why. I gave him one last kiss and one more rose to tell him I would love him forever. He said he loved me too and he would always love me. He closed his eyes for the last time that day.

_ I don't want to, but I love you _

Anxiety took his place, as I thought. Patton and Logan missed him but adjusted better to Anxiety than I did. He just looked so much like Virgil and I couldn't take it. It hurt.

_ Ooh  _

_ Ooh  _

_ Ooh  _

_ Ooh _


End file.
